Dear Hetty,

Dear Sweet Hetty,

I've always believed that "everything happens for a reason," but I sure as hell don't understand this one. It was just a couple months ago that we were planning our trip to San Francisco. After chatting over facebook and text, we were both so excited to attend our very first "Hoopla" -- Stella & Dot's annual convention. We had never met, but Tandy, our Stella & Dot upline, set us up. THIS, I know, happened for a reason.

I hadn't had a roommate in years. I'll be honest, I was actually pretty nervous to have a roommate, especially one that I had never met before. I checked into the hotel before you, got up to the room, unpacked my things, and made sure I was as tidy as could be. I unpacked everything--- made sure everything was perfect. I gave you the bed closest to the bathroom, because that's the bed I would've wanted. I made sure my things were tucked away behind my bed so you wouldn't think I was a complete slob. I went across the hall to Tandy, Christine and Zandra's room and remember telling Tandy how I was a little nervous meeting you, almost like it was like meeting my roommate in college for the first time! I went back to our room and a few minutes later heard your little knock on the door.

We embraced in a hug like we were friends who hadn't seen eachother in years. So cliche, I'll admit, but I knew I liked you the second I met you. We both got ready quickly for the fashion show, and we helped eachother pick out our jewelry--- you had on the sofia pearl bib and paired it with an older white brooch that I had never seen in person before. In fact, I don't even know the name of it. You had a cute linen dress from Banana Republic that you were going to wear to the fashion show.... but we (you) were running late and you had to still check in downstairs and get your "swag bag." You ironed your dress and the hotel iron leaked water all over it. While you went downstairs to check in, I used my hairdryer to dry your dress. We walked down to the fashion show and so many other stylists just loved your necklace/brooch combination. After the fashion show, we viewed the new fall collection together. We loved the same pieces. We weren't sure about some of the pieces. We had the same taste.

After that, we were both starving and tried to find a place to grab some food down in Union Square... We saw Tandy and Christine on the street (along with about 20 other gals in S&D jewelry). You wanted to find a place to eat outside because the weather was so beautiful. You being from Alaska thought 75 degrees was "nice out".... I (with my Arizona blood), thought it was a little chilly. We walked down towards the mall, another S&D stylist asked us to take her picture with her mom, and then she asked if we wanted our picture together.

After we realized there weren't many outdoor places to grab food, we started walking back towards the hotel, smelled pizza, looked at each other and I immediately knew I had found a girl after my own heart. You had a slice of pepperoni and I had a slice of cheese pizza. We chatted over our pizza and beer--- you told me about life in Alaska, your two sweet daughters, Ella and Adelaide, and your husband. I remember telling you I loved the name Ella and that if I ever had a daughter I told you my favorite name for a girl (that I rarely share with ANYONE), and that we would call her Ella for short. I thought the name Adelaide was so beautiful, too. Addie, for short. Somehow it came up that you and your husband had a little plane. I remember being so impressed that you and your husband owned a plane. I texted Stefan later in the day and told him, "I don't know how I got so lucky with my roommate, she is absolutely perfect-- and guess what, her and her husband have a plane! How cool is that?!"

We then agreed that it would be a good idea to find a liquor store so we could have a few drinks in our room. (Again, we were meant to be). I found a liquor store using the GPS on my phone, and we headed to Eddie's Liquor Store. You told me how you loved beer, and you found one of your favorite beers at Eddie's... one that you loved in college, brewed in Colorado. We also got some champagne and peach nectar (we thought it would be fun to have mimosas in the morning), and you were so excited about all of the fresh fruit at the tiny liquor/convenience store that you couldn't find regularly in Alaska. We headed back to our hotel with our brown paper bags and got ready for the Gem Fatales Team Dinner at the Parc 55 hotel.

We met up with some Arizona stylists in the lobby at the Parc, and found a bunch of other stylists down at the bar grabbing drinks before dinner started. The line was long, and we were assured the line was just as long upstairs where our dinner was being held. We were one of the last ones to be served at the downstairs bar, and figured there would be plenty of seats at the dinner upstairs. Instead of getting "a drink" we thought it would be a better idea to share a pitcher (yes, PITCHER) of white sangria. We each had a glass full of sangria in hand, and I carried the pitcher up to the dinner. The room was packed. There were no seats together. For a second, I thought it would be a better idea to leave and share our sangria in the bar downstairs than be separated in the room of 400+ stylists. We started walking up towards the front of the room with a few other girls, when this woman came up to us and said "we have room for two at our table".... In almost a desperate tone, I said "We're two! We're sharing this pitcher of sangria, we need to be together!" As we walked towards the front of the room, I thought "oh no, why is this lady taking us to the table with the giant RESERVED sign?!" We sat down and I whispered to Hetty, "This is Tysh Mefferd's table. She's sitting right across from us." You had no clue that was Tysh at first. I felt a little awkward, but it was pretty funny at the same time. Two girls who started with S&D less than a year ago were sitting at a table with veterans. Jessica came to our table, Blythe, and even Maya Brenner (who I told you was my celebrity girl crush). Even though we felt completely out of place at that dinner table, I wouldn't have wanted to be there with anyone else.

We finished our pitcher of sangria, and as we toasted our last glasses of the pitcher, I happened to glance over at Tandy at the table across from us, and as she caught us saying "cheers," I'm pretty sure she was thinking something along the lines of, "yep, those are my girls!"

We got our pictures with Jessica and Maya, and had such a fun night. We found Tandy and Christine down in the bar after dinner, and had a few more adult beverages to end the night.... 

For some reason, I took a picture of the four of us at the end of the night...

With my combination of beer, sangria, and vodka, I wasn't feeling so hot the next morning. Needless to say, we didn't end up having our mimosas that we thought was such a great idea the night before. We went to all of the same training sessions together, and even though the training is intended for us to network with other stylists, we stuck together. We still chatted with other stylists, but we were inseparable at the same time.

I got used to people being so shocked that you were from Alaska, that I almost started answering all of the "typical" questions for you. "You live about an hour from Sarah Palin, you're the only one here from Alaska and one of the very few active stylists in Alaska." You were famous. The reactions when you told people you were from Alaska were hilarious. It was almost like you were from a foreign country. I'm sure you get that a lot when you travel outside Alaska. You never got annoyed though. You loved everything about Alaska and were proud of your roots.

That second night, we had our dinner cruise. It was so much fun figuring out what jewelry we were going to wear to each event. I remember we were trying to figure out how to tie two La Coco Cupchain necklaces in a knot. You had one of mine and yours and neither of us could figure it out. I said "We'll have to find Kelly Bird. She'll show you on the bus ride over there." You ended up with only one, and it wasn't tied in a knot, but your outfit (and jewelry) was still perfect. We had so much fun on the cruise. We rode on the bus next to each other, bought each other glasses of wine (although I was trying to cut back after the night before), and took so many pictures on the water. We went upstairs and talked to the boat captain for a long time. He told us about his children, and how his two daughters grew apart after the years, and how their age difference probably contributed to that. You told him how you hoped your daughters would grow up to be best friends one day.

We didn't stay out late that next night-- we had way too much fun the night before! We took another "end of the night" picture, and you can clearly tell the difference between the night #1 and night #2 pictures.

We spent the entire weekend together. The final night was the gala with all of the stylists. Christine invited us both to her senior director table for the dinner. We had a blast that night with the other girls from our team.... we danced the night away and created great memories. Neither of us could believe the weekend was coming to a close.

Our last night....

The next morning we said our goodbyes. I was heading to visit my friend who lived on Russian Hill, and you were going to do a little shopping for your friend who needed you to pick up a gift for his wife. After your shopping, you met up with your friend on Russian Hill before your flight left back to Alaska. We soon figured out that both of our friends on Russian Hill lived two doors apart. Talk about a small world. We said our goodbyes at the hotel, and I told you to plan a trip with your family to Phoenix, and to plan it around a monthly Stella & Dot meeting so everyone could see you again. You were so excited about planning a trip to Phoenix. We didn't even have to say "let's keep in touch" before we went our separate ways - it was more like we knew there was no way we couldn't stay in touch.

When I came home from Hoopla, I was on this wonderful high. The weekend was so much fun and I wouldn't have traded it for the world. It was absolutely perfect (minus that one little hangover). You were the perfect roommate and the perfect "instant friend." Whenever anyone asked me about Hoopla, they got to hear about you.


Fast forward 3 weeks.

My nephew got married on July 30th in Sterling, Colorado. You told me you went to Colorado State University in Fort Collins. You had heard of Sterling. 99% of people have never heard of Sterling, Colorado. Another one of those weird similarities. On July 31st, my family and I went out to the North Sterling Reservoir for the day, to relax after a fun wedding weekend. When we got back to our hotel that night, I noticed I had 5 missed calls from Tandy, a text message that said "call me, I have something to tell you," another message from Tandy that said "call me as soon as you get this, no matter how late it is," and another message from Kelly Bird that said "call Tandy as soon as you can."

Tandy: Hello?
Julie: Hey Tandy, it's Julie.
Tandy: Hey Julie, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Hetty was killed in a plane crash with her husband and two girls yesterday.

Not possible.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe it" were the words I kept saying over and over again. Tandy was obviously crying, and thinking back, I was just in complete shock and denial. I don't even think tears came out of my eyes because I was so shocked. I just didn't believe the words Tandy was saying. It didn't make sense. It couldn't be true. I JUST saw you a few weeks ago. You became an instant friend. We had so much in common. You were going to come to Phoenix. You were just so happy. You had everthing going for you. It just couldn't be true.

I layed in bed after I got off the phone with Tandy and googled the accident, read a couple articles, looked at your facebook page, looked at our pictures from Hoopla, and re-read the text messages from Tandy and Kelly. I went to sleep that night and woke up with black mascara all over my pillows. And when I say "went to sleep," I mean that I layed my head on my pillow and cried. I didn't really sleep. How could I? I continued to think about my conversation with Tandy, all of my conversations with you, and the disbelief I felt about the whole situation.

The next day, we went to breakfast with my family before heading to the airport. While we were sitting in the restaurant, the song "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry came over the speakers and it brought tears to my eyes. Over the last couple weeks, prior to your passing, I have been obsessed with this song. I love the melody, the way the words come together, and have played it on repeat on my ipod. In fact, on Saturday before my nephew's wedding, we were at my sister's bar setting up for the reception and I played it on the jukebox at the bar. Twice. I was at lunch the other day with some co-workers and it came on in the restaurant and again, brought tears to my eyes.

Getting on a plane and heading to Cleveland for work was extremely difficult. I was emotionally drained. I was on a plane. I was by myself and completely vulnerable. I was only left with thoughts. Thoughts of you. Thoughts of you and your sweet family on Saturday, enjoying your perfect afternoon, heading to your family's cabin on your plane. The plane that I was so impressed with. As much as I don't want to think about it, I can't help but think about the horror you and your family experienced that afternoon. I keep trying to get that out of my head, but looking at all of your pictures on facebook, especially the one of your husband checking the oil on your plane and your daughter Ella standing next to him, I just can't get it out of my head. You didn't deserve it. Why was this meant to happen to you and your precious family?

So many things have gone through my head lately, paired with so many different emotions. Why was I impressed with your plane? I feel guilty that I was impressed with such a material possession, something that you didn't think was a big deal at all. I shouldn't have thought it was a big deal either... and now I feel guilty that your plane ended up being the vehicle in which you spent your last moments. I have these breakdowns. Stefan mentioned a Honda "Pilot" the other day, and I just broke into tears. Little things. I know this will pass at some point, but it still makes me wonder why I'm taking it so hard.

I talked to Tandy a few nights ago for about an hour. We spent the entire time talking, laughing, sharing memories, and even shed some tears. I told her that I don't understand why, after just knowing you for a short amount of time, I'm having such a hard time coping with all of this. She told me it's okay to grieve, and it's our way of paying our respects to you. It shows how much of an impact you've had on our lives in such a short amount of time, and gives credit to the amazing person you were. She said, "You can grieve because you think that person is amazing." So true. I told Tandy how hard it is to move forward with my Stella & Dot business, knowing you're not able to move forward with your business, and building your team in Alaska like you were ready to do. She assured me that I need to take some time and just let myself take everything in and grieve like I need to. We also realized that you'd probably be pretty pissed at both of us if we gave up on our businesses because we were grieving your loss. I know you want us to move forward, and I can promise you we will, but I'm telling you, it's going to be difficult.

We have a team tomorrow in Phoenix, and Tandy asked me if I would be willing to share some stories about you. I told her I would be so happy to share your beautiful spirit with other women in our little S&D family. I'm so thankful to have met you and can't wait to tell others how amazing you were. I warned Tandy that I may start crying, so she'd have to crack a joke or tell a funny story so I didn't completely breakdown and lose it! I'll make sure that people can get to know you as a person for who you were, and not just for how you left us so suddenly.

I know that you were put in my life for a reason. Your infectious smile and positive energy will leave an everlasting impression in my mind. I cherish the weekend we spent together and it makes me smile thinking about all of the weird similarities we shared. While we were not best friends or relatives, you truly left a lasting memory in my life. I will be forever grateful for getting to know you, and can't wait to share another pizza and beer with you when I see you next...

I'll miss you, sweet Hetty.